Vortex

Vortex can be defined in many ways. According to dictionary.com, one of the definitions given to this word was:

"something regarded as drawing into its powerful current everything that surrounds it: the vortex of war."

Today, I'd like to discuss the Vortex of Darkness or should I say, the Vortexes/Vortices of Darkness in my life. These are the people that are so ultra negative that suck the life out of me. Perhaps I'm being dramatic, but I can only say, after spending time with these vortexes, I usually feel drained, angry, resentful, and sometimes just meh.

Prime example, I've worked in my current office/associated with the current office when working off site for over 12 years. This one woman I've worked with has been there since I started at the office. And everytime I see her, we chat about her life, her current partner, things she's working on and I SWEAR, within 5 minutes, I'm so done with her. Everything is so negative. She has an excuse for everything. Everything is just every body else's fault. Blah, blah, blah.

So 12 years of time with this person means that I can make an assessment on how I truly feel about this person. And I really would categorize her as the Vortex of Darkness. UGH. Honestly, she makes Eeyore seem "happy." Is she nice? Absolutely! But her choices make her miserable and her actions based on her choices makes those around her dislike hanging out with her.

Being positive is no easy chore. And changing into someone that is positive is no easy chore either. But it can be done. I remember in my younger years, I had a tendency to be a vortex myself and someone finally said to me, "you're so fricken negative." I was shocked and upset. But that was the shake up I needed. It was the kickstart that helped me make different choices for myself and to see the world in a more positive light. I listened and I'm so much happier for it...and hopefully those around me don't feel that negative pull. Don't get me wrong, I do have bad days and I complain. But after I have my rant, I move on...continue living life...focussing on all that is good. It has made me resilient to the many changes and things that happened in my life. I'm no Dali Llama...but I'm no vortex either.

But this woman who is close to retiring won't change. Have people told her she's negative? Absolutely. But she hasn't heard a word, chooses not to hear what is being told, has every excuse in the book and has not changed one bit since the 12 years I've known her. I only wish her and others like that happiness and hopefully one day, they can break out of that darkness and start being the Vortex of Light.

Mindfulness

Sometime last week, I went to go see some friends. Part of the reason was just to catch up with them and the other half was to talk about some trips we recently took. Of course I yapped about my Oprah trip.

Besides talking about Oprah, I actually let them see my pictures and videos of Chicago. Comments all around. But when my one friend got to my Segway video, they were killing themselves laughing. Basically, they were laughing because I looked SO happy with my wide ass grin, laughing big time and just looking enthralled with my Segway ride. "How can you be SO happy on a Segway Alice?!" I just said I was having such a great time.

I ended up leaving earlier than the other buds. And they started to talk about my Segway video once again. "I don't think I've ever smiled that hard and wide in my life...let alone for a Segway ride." Or she said something to that effect. She ended up telling me she said this to her friend.

So I ended up watching the video again today to see what she was talking about. LOL! Well, I do look a little on the crazy side. And I really was smiling from ear to ear. But I'm so glad that I was even though I look like a loser and goof.

The reason being, I can honestly tell I was happy and truly enjoying myself in the moment. Yep. Being mindful. With so much hardship, craziness and responsibilities in life, why not be in the moment to also enjoy the great things in life. I probably smile like that when I get a really good kickass bowl of soup or just being able to walk out in the sun. Being able to enjoy these moments of happiness really puts things into perspective and puts balance in my life. And really, enjoying these moments of happiness sure beats being in a funk all the time.

So enjoy whatever moment of happiness you have today.

NUD

Oh, what a glorious day! It's National Unfriend Day. Yes, it hasn't got quite the same punch as Christmas, but today is a great day. NUD is really a day to unfriend all those people from Facebook that you don't talk to, you don't want talk to, haven't heard from in 6 months, are not actually friends with, etc.

Granted, I unfriend people all the time in Facebook. Call it spring cleaning...all the time. I get unfriended all the time and I don't even remotely get upset. And that's because people have chosen to not have me see parts of their life. And I totally respect that...especially if we're really not friends, less than acquantances, and have no desire to actually be friends.

So, thanks Jimmy Kimmel for putting some great songs together about unfriending. This is one of my favourites.

The Letter F

Today was a day filled with F words. Actually, let me clarify the previous sentence. It was a day filled with the F word used repeatedly. I used it as a noun, a verb, the subject...yep, every bit of grammar you know.

My poor co-workers. They had to hear me rant and rave using this one word. Their ears were hurting. All of this started because some folks decided to give me some crazy task. But it was such a minute task...in the whole scheme of things and in the world, it really was nothing. But the time and energy to complete this task was more than I could bear.

And part of me was extra annoyed...when thinking about all the things we could be doing in life and for the greater good of this country, I couldn't believe I (as well as 5 other people) had to spend this large amount of time for this task.

So, I went around ranting to those that would listen. And once I got all this crap out of me, I just kept using the F word because it was just fun. I realized how "stupid" all of today was at work and just let it be. I'm ok with all of it now but in the moment, not so much.

Though I do hope that all my co-workers' ears heal from all my swearing today.

Lasers

One of my daughters wanted to wear a tutu for Halloween. But she also wanted to tote a laser gun with her...because that's what ballerinas take around these days. She was also shooting the laser onto parts of my body. I told her to point it at a zit of mine. Lovely thought, I know.

The hope was that I could get some acne laser treatment to zap away the yucky stuff from my face.

Yeah, didn't work so well.

Good drugs

When women who have kids get together, they share their war stories. I'm talking about birthing, breastfeeding, potty training...all the nasty stuff. But it's what really bonds women together. Yeah, we've got battle scars from these experiences. But we all survive in some way.

One of the battles I had was finding a way to increase breast milk production. Honestly, the wells were dry. The doctor had to give me domperidone to hopefully kickstart my milk production. The way this drug sounded, I thought he was giving me the A OK to have some Dom Perignon champagne. Nope. No such luck. Being drunk would have helped my sanity.

Sometimes some of my single friends ask why I don't tell them these war torn stories. I think I'm partially boring them. Secondly, no need to scare people off from having kids...we need to have some good people out there. But honestly, these are war stories that only other moms/parents understand

Passport Office

Well, I guess everybody had the same idea as me on Friday, November 12th. It was a Pro-D day for kids. And it was after Rememberance Day...perhaps if I go early enough, everybody will be sleeping still and I'll zip in and out of the passport office quickly for my 2 kid's passports. Yeah right! Wishful thinking.

Thank goodness I got my kids to bring activities, books and toys with them. But even then, the crowds and noise was making them antsy and "bored." Thank you iPhone for saving my sanity today.

And anytime I have to just wait, I people watch and I just watch my surroundings. I think I'm always amazed at how unprepared people are sometimes. People stuff their IDs in their purse and then when they get to the counter, they can't remember where they put it. They realize that they didn't fill in the form correctly. You get the idea.

And then the surroundings. This time I focussed on the numbers on the board. They ranged from letter A - F and then a number after that. I figured that can't be by coincidence. So I tried to figure out what the numbers were for.

When it was time to go to the counter, I was actually in and out very quickly because I just had everything ready to go. But because my applications for my kids were so quick, I thought I'd ask the clerk what the letters mean before the numbers. Amazing what you learn. She said that I got a D letter because D ones are for children applications and complicated ones. No one wants those. Uh huh. Thanks for making me feel special. But those are all the custody battles, lost IDs, lost passport types of applications.

Those with F are for urgent applications. And then the clerk started to laugh...EVERY clerk wants the A ones. those are for easy, no problem, for the applicant only type of applications. Guess I learned something new.

Well, at least this D number was an easy D application.

Grumpy Old Men

I never thought I'd like this movie, but dang. Watching 2 old grumpy men hanging out with each other is way too funny. And I particularly liked the scene where they are in a car and a bike is going way faster than them.

And I bring this up because I recently read yet another study on how personalities are basically solidified by the time a child is 6 years old. My one kid will be turning 7 so what I have is what I have. But even funnier is this kid that I see at my kid's mandarin school each week.

I swear, this kid is exactly like one of those grumpy old men!!! Every activity, he moans and groans and has to make some derogatory comment. Nothing is ever good enough. And everything is stupid. I shouldn't laugh because the poor kid will probably have the crap beaten out of him at school because of his attitude. Let's hope he's not 6 yet.

Congrats!

A good friend of mine asked me if I was busy the other day. And then she asked me a question that I would only be interested in..."did you have any dreams of babies lately?"

That was my cue to congratulate her as she was pregnant! I am just overjoyed at her having a baby because she will be an amazing mother. And her husband will be an incredible dad.

But I digress from the dream bit. With close friends, for whatever reason, I will dream about a baby and one of my good friends will be pregnant! Heck, this one girl didn't believe me, (hey Miss A), and sure enough, kid number 3.

And with this good friend, this dream was quite different. I had her husband chasing me down some skanky alley way and screaming at me the whole time. And when he got closer, he was screaming at me and saying "We're having a baby!!! And it's a girl!!!" Honestly, if that's not a clear message, I don't know what is.

I'll be putting in for that baby pool. Yep. I betting on a girl. Congrats to my lovely friend. I look forward to meeting your daughter.

Canadian or Chinese

The other day, my eldest daughter's daycare teacher pulled me aside because she wanted to tell me something. So I walked over to the other end of the daycare to chat with her. I don't usually like these conversations because it probably means my kid screwed up.

So the teacher starts telling me what my daughter said on the bus that morning:

Teacher, I was looking at photos of my mom last night. She was younger and in some, she was a baby. And did you know that when she was a baby, she was Chinese? And she was born in Hong Kong?

I had such a good laugh!! But I found it so interesting that my daughter didn't see the colour of my skin. She just saw me as mom and saw me as Canadian, not really Chinese. Wouldn't it be nice if everybody saw skin colour the way my kid did? Sure would take away a lot of problems.

Unions

Recently, I went to a vote as our union has forwarded us our tentative agreement. For once, I actually read it, thought about it, went to an information session and asked questions. Normally, I wouldn't, but there is a clause in this collective agreement that I'm not really liking.

I get that bargaining is tough. And I respect those that are willing to put out their necks to do it, because I'll be honest, I wouldn't want to do it. But sometimes I find that our numbers is actually a detriment to bargaining rather than a strength. If the union negotiated a .5% increase for 170,000 people, that's a lot of people and money versus having a .5% increase for a union that only has 25,000 people. I'm not going to drag on about this...but I voted my conscience and let's see what the outcome will be.

I just think that maybe our union should focus on the bargaining rather than trying to find an insurance company to provide me cheap auto insurance quotes. The union is working with I don't know who, but I keep getting mail about cheaper insurance in all aspects of my life. Why don't we talk about bargaining with the government again and taking severance OFF the table this time...thanks.

Doctor's Office

Everytime I go to the doctor's, I always check out the walls for new pictures, posters, etc. But I am serious when I say that my doctor must treat a ton of patients with herpes. Behind every single door in that place (believe me, I've checked), there are posters for symptoms of herpes, or cures for herpes, or medication for herpes.

First of all, I don't like that word. Secondly, I don't want to have to be reminded of diseases that I never want. And really, looking at ugly posters makes me sad.

Next time I go in, I should slap on stickers from my kid's sticker supply. That'll make me happier.

Supplements

I'm wondering how those best fat burner supplements that may not have FDA approval or some Canadian Food Inspection approval make it on the shelf in the stores? Obviously people buy them. But then I think, if I were to go into a Chinese health store, I'm sure I could grab something similar and I wouldn't think twice about it.

In "Canadian food stores," I make sure that I read all the expiry dates. But in Chinese food stores, not necessarily. I'd still eat it if it looked good and the package looked like it was still in tact.

Doesn't anybody think that's odd that it's ok to eat expired/non approved food in one place but diss it in a totally different environment?

Skin products

I love trying new products. However, I should realize that sometimes, those experiences are not going to be good. But I also see that as a positive as it makes me realize how much I love my other product.

So the other day, my exfoliant which is somewhat like those acne lotions because the exfoliant scrubs away all the yucky stuff to prevent bacteria from going was on sale. But there were 3 different versions. I usually do the full on exfoliant. But I thought I'd try the gentle version. WHATEVER. I don't know why I bothered. I just didn't get the same type of scrub on my face and now it feels oily. Boo.

Sweaters

I'm not a huge fan of sweaters...and that's because I just like wearing t-shirts. Like, all the time. However, there are times where I don't mind feeling girly. When I was shopping at the Oprah store, I just loved looking through all of Oprah's girly clothing that she wore on the show. I'd love to try on some of it.

Then there was the regular clothing she was selling...like the cashmere sweaters. Never really saw Oprah coming up with that kind of clothing. But I must say, it was very soft, actually very fitting and just beautiful. However, my carry on was just much too full and I could not buy any sets. Well, maybe next time. Yes, next time.

Insurance

I know that there are a lot of sales people out there. And this is no diss to them. But sometimes they just have to lay off. If I'm an existing customer, don't try to upsell me every 2 weeks. Don't try to tell me about the latest item especially when I just told you 2 weeks ago that I don't need something new.

Thank goodness my financial planner is smart and actually doesn't bug me. When my plans are coming up and about to expire, he'll call us up to let us know. He'll set up a meeting and provide us with things like term life quotes. We'll examine the information, ask our questions and then make our decision. If we say no, he is so ok with it. He says that he just wants us to at least know about the product and make a good decision for our own lives. Good enough for me.

So, for all those other sales guys that keeps calling me, stop and learn something from my financial planner. Because he gives me the space to make decisions, I stick with him. He gets tons of sales from me and referrals. So it's worth your while to not badger.