Definitions

Today, I'd like to clarify my definition of selflessness versus martyrdom and some of the consequences of these 2 concepts.  They are sometimes used interchangeably, but I think they are two very different concepts.   Remember, these are my definitions and not by some dictionary or thesaurus.  

Selflessness is an act(s)/gesture to someone/living being to make them feel better or assist in some way.  There is no thought of being repaid in any way.

Martyrdom on the other hand is a completely different thing.  There is motive behind it.  There is a need to gain something from the action.  It can be control or power over someone.  It's the need to be needed or to feel important.  It's the need to be thanked and recognized for all the "sacrifices."

With selflessness, the person that is being helped will be helped in some form or fashion.  And from the person who provided that assistance, they will know that what needs to be done is done.  Perhaps there isn't true selflessness because I suppose there is some "satisfaction" that is received from doing the action.  But they are positive such as relief, gratefulness, happiness.  

On the flip side, martyrdom can have negative consequences.  If the person doesn't get the praise, thanks or recognition of all the sacrifices that were done (small or big), they get miserable, negative, feeling that the world is unjust and unfair, and angry.  What I really love is when the martyr feels that the other person hasn't given back in the same way.  BAH!

Martyrs fit into my category that I call "Vortex of Darkness."  They really suck the living daylights and any positive energy in me.  And I really can't stand that.  There's already enough negativity in life and in the world; I am not going to get sucked into your darkness.  And I just keep thinking to myself...for all of those that really have something to be miserable about, why are they the ones that seem the most positive and selfless?  They can somehow see and work past their situation and no matter how bad it is, they somehow still see the positivity in something.   They can still somehow give back and not be a martyr. 

Believe me.  I realize that life isn't full of rainbows and unicorns.  But martyrs are really a category of people that I don't deal with and avoid on purpose.  Definitely not my cup of tea.